Many years ago I was a member of a women's religious order (Catholic from birth) I left religious life, but not the church. THen I had a really bad bout with depression and even had thoughts of wanting to be dead (though not actively suicidal). It go to be so bad that I was forcing myself to go through the actions of my religious beliefs and "Doing" what I had been taught. I felt as though God had abandoned me. I know that the church teaches that when we feel that way, it is really us who have abandoned God. I was absolutely determined that I would not do that, so I acted as if God was still in my life, even if I could no longer feel God's presence as I once had.
Thankfully, that period eventually passed. I had to leave the church because it no longer fit, and I no longer profess to be Catholic, but I have found a very comfortable spiritual connection with the Universe and am again happy in my knowledge of God's presence in my life.
Hi Cecelia, I can relate to your spiritual abandonment thoughts. I feel close to God in terms of who He is and what He has done for me, yet I feel a distance or complacency towards the daily activities towards God, prayer, reading my bible, devotion time and sometimes even going to church. Part of it is my battle with depression, and part of it is a spiritual battle. What I am learning is to not be so hard on myself. Maybe this is just a season of rest.