Dear Cynthia... > Niece was sexually abused,Family Trouble Continues
Niece was sexually abused,Family Trouble Continues
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skylea
2 posts
Feb 22, 2010
12:16 PM
Btw, this is so great and so kind of you Cynthia to be helping us by posting your thoughts on things troubling us. For some of us, this is the first step and only way to open up for now.
Cynthia
277 posts
Feb 23, 2010
7:02 PM
Wow this is such a heartbreaking story! I can't imagine anything sader or more frustrating than being helpless to protect a child, especially one you love so much, from being abused by her parents.

Of course neither of us can know what your neice is thinking or feeling, but I would guess something similar to what you said. She's had 5 more years of abuse and shame and disgust and rage and betrayal and loss to deal with and undoubtably has found a way to separate herself from her unbearable feelings she has no one to help her with. On top of that, her parents have probably convinced her that you are the root of all her problems. Perhaps they've told her that you abandoned her, betrayed the family, tried to break it up, etc. As absolutely infuriating as that is, it would be consistent with the rest of what they've done. There is no way they would explain to her broken heart that they took her away from you because you were loving and not abusive and they needed to hide their abuse from you. They would have made you the bad guy so she could hate you and not them.

The interesting thing is your sister wanting you back in her life. Why does she, after all of that? This could be an opportunity to help your neice, if even a little.

Warm regards,
Cynthia

Last Edited by on Feb 23, 2010 7:09 PM


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 Cynthia W. Lubow, MFT

 For 30 years, compassionately helping people build self-confidence and feel happier.

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