Dear Cynthia... > Are you "self-destructive?"
Are you "self-destructive?"
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Cynthia
261 posts
Jan 08, 2010
4:51 PM
Ok, let's talk about it. If you haven't seen my email about this, go here and read it first:

http://www.womenspsychotherapy.com/selfdestructiveness.html

Then let us know if you think you're self-destructive, and if you can figure out what your real, constructive intention is behind the behavior? Or do you want us to help you try to figure it out? Or do you think you do something with the actual intention of being self-destructive without any good intention for yourself?

Last Edited by on Jan 08, 2010 5:10 PM
Ella
2 posts
Jan 09, 2010
1:45 PM
It's hard to accept some of the things I do as being self-destructive because it feels so right. For example, not eating for periods of time. It feels good. It feels healthy. It makes me feel strong in a way. Another example--sleeping late on weekends instead of studying more. I like sleeping and relaxing after a long week, but I need to work harder in school if I want to do well on the exam at the end of the semester. So, I guess I do these things as a way of feeling good about myself--I have no conscious intention of harming myself or putting myself at a disadvantage. It doesn't seem self-destructive, but I know other people might think it is.
Cynthia
264 posts
Jan 11, 2010
11:32 PM
Are any of these choices hurting you in any way?
Ella
3 posts
Jan 12, 2010
5:59 PM
Procrastinating on the weekends does hurt me. It's more self-sabotage than self-destructive. I think I would do better in school if I studied harder and for longer periods of time. Not eating doesn't really have any detrimental effect, so I guess it isn't self-destructive. It does open me up to comments from others, though. I don't know why people feel free to comment on another's eating habits or weight.
Cynthia
265 posts
Jan 14, 2010
12:44 AM
So if you see procrastinating on weekends as self-sabotage, what makes you want to sabotage yourself? If you want to do better in school and you would do better if you studied more, then why wouldn't you study more? Maybe I'm missing something, but I think we have good reasons for whatever we do. So either you have a good reason you want to sabotage yourself or you are doing well enough in school with the studying you do, or you don't really want to do better in school, or something is more important to you than doing better in school, or...? I think on some level what we do is what we want to do (addictions aside). So what really makes you procrastinate rather than study more on weekends?

Last Edited by on Jan 14, 2010 12:47 AM


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Email: CynthiaLubow@yahoo.com 

 Cynthia W. Lubow, MFT

 For 30 years, compassionately helping people build self-confidence and feel happier.

 San Francisco East Bay Area Therapist

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