i often feel angry or unable to put effort into anyting. it is often a cycle were i am really posative and then i get low sometimes were i just sit around doing nothing. i think about disapeering, just walking out of the house, how ungrateful i am, if im stupid and i mull over things i have said over the day. I get so caught up in things i do or say. When i think i say something stupid during the day i cant stop thinking about it and always feel like i am doing something wrong or just plain stupid. i feel like i have nothing to offer anybody, i feel like school is a lot more effortthen it should be. i dont know why i always keep on feeling inferior to everybody else. i hate that feeling and i want to learn how to stop feeling that way
Last Edited by on Jan 22, 2009 7:41 PM
It definitely sounds like you struggle with some depression. The things you wrote are things people think when they are depressed. Whether you are depressed because you think those things about yourself, or you think those things because you are depressed, I don't have enough information to know. Very often, though, people believe they have no worth, or value because their parents or other people have treated them that way. We all learn to treat ourselves the way our caretakers treat us when we are young, so my first guess would be that you learned to think about yourself this way because you either are growing up with lots of criticism from the people you care about and spend time with, or you are growing up without the opposite--without encouragement and delight about who you are, believing in you, and being good role-models for you. Do you relate to any of this?
i believe that my parents try to encourage me a lot, support me and try to be good role models. their strict but they have good intentions. I havent had any tramatizing events happen to me. basically i dont have to worry abput financial problems, my parents arent divorced, i have had no deaths among my friends or family, ive never been abused, my parents are good people,i play soccer, i dont really have a problem with how i look(expet for the normal things like that dont really bother me so muchand i dont think about them 24/7) and i have no mental or physical disabilites So i dont really know what my problem is that causes me to think so negativley. i absolutly hate feeling sorry for myself too because things could always be a lot worse. do you have any other suggestions on what i can do to find out whats bothering me?
Last Edited by on Jan 23, 2009 11:17 PM
im just... adding a few things in right now because i feel like i need you to tell you about it... i screwed up in a couple very stupid ways this week. i was supposed to supply some "drank" for me and my friend today but i only brought haf a water bottle even though i knew she would get mad at me about it(she is one of my best friens), i had an english test this week and did not study the night before even though i knew i needed to and would REALLy regret it if i didnt, i woke up 30 min late for soccer practice this week, i was late to class, i had 5 oppurtunities to score at my recent soccer game(but i just wasted them), every single day this week i slept instead of doing my hw, i got into an ergument with my dad(because i screwed up but hate talking to him about when i screw up), i missed a soccer practice because i thought it was cancled so i didnt get to start, i failed my geo history test,i ws late to class because someone stole my laptop out of my locker because i didnt shut it all the way,my bike was stoln because i didnt have the energy to bring it inside the garage even though i knew that would be the smarter thing to do, i dropped myparents favorite bowl when i was doing the dishes and broke it, i watched 4 movies in one day instead of doing my homework,lost my ipod,my lock on p.e locker was jacked because i didnt lock it all the way, i pushed away pretty much the last boy that liked me at school alot of guys were kissing my ass in the middle of the school year and (not trying to be vain but...) and lot of other things. i dont really think you needed to hear all of this but i wanted to just get it off my chest