I am fighting being depressed, herr is my story in a humoristic format>>>>>>
Ladies and Gentlemen tighten your seatbelts and get ready for the ride>>>>
In less than a few short years, my family has been in constant up heavel.
I am a Mom of three. In 2001 I became very ill and after nearly one month in the hospital they finally diagnosed me w/ Lupus SLE (systemic) after so many tests including MRI’s of al kinds and one Angi o gram. Two weeks after all those test and finally returning home; I did a home pregnancy test and guess what... So I proceeded to do my best to carry my baby as it was her that helped me find out what had caused me to fall ill for so many years gift of life for gift of life you might say. Yes I am sort of young as well. I had my son now 24 very young only a mere teenager. Still somehow I finished school and have managed to continue my education of this life both by book and strife. O.k. so my son moved to Alaska four months after his baby sister was born. He is now in prison for protecting his wife from an attacker while she was pregnant with their son. Oh and his baby sister? Well, I made it nearly thirty two weeks approximately seven months gestation. She is beautiful; my reminder joy still exists in this world, which what children are and give us even when they can drive us nuts. Sure she has speech issues and my gut says masked through all those steroids and premature delivery I feel a glitch. Call it mothers’ intuition. All those doctors say it can take years even up to mid adolescence to reveal it self. Someone once said to me love them through it. It my pleasure to do so, Her art can wow you just like her brothers hmmm. Ponder that a few moments will you? My son he was born early too at 31 weeks he is legally deaf. Is that my point? Look again… Remember I said I have three children. My teen age daughter has been in and out if hospitals for what they say and then retract because of her not yet being of the age of majority afflicted with Bi Polar. It has been a constant... Then she my dear child had a cyst the size of a new born babies head removed off her ovary. Well then that caused all kind of hormonal difficulties as if being a teenager wasn't enough! This last spring she was diagnosed with Pseudo Tumor Cerebri. Hypertension of the brain a rare disorder that may lead to blindness even death.
Should I scream yet?
I need oxygen can any one spare some?
See being disabled is tuff. Having my children suffer in these ways is just too too much.
We recently felt as blessed as we moved into a beautiful new home. One year lease options to buy woo who!!! How cool is that?
Two days ago my landlord decided out of the blue he wants to not continue our lease. My rent is paid we are quiet people normal noise but decent family.
Well we prayed.
Later, I cried hysterically yet contained.
>> We love our home and frankly we just don not get it. <<
My beautiful teenage daughter comes to me and says Mom, do not worry God is only testing you. WOW!!! How old is she? Just last week she was agnostic. Wisdom comes in from the insightful and believe me she is. Not to mention what an inner voice and she can sing too!
I prayed again and I feel I finally able to stop fighting and give in, as he knows I can be very stubborn so to give all this up to him and just let go is huge. Trust grows by the way from hope. Additionally as I write this I clearly can see amongst all the chaotic interweaving of challenges. Somewhere there is a message of character fueled by endurance and held together by faith.