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Dear Cynthia... > postpartum depression
postpartum depression
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Jul 31, 2006
9:29 PM
i gave birth to a baby about 6 months back. i have just been wondering if i am suffering from the postpartum depression condition because the questions answers quiz turned out mostly to be a "yes" for me. most of the time i am feeling alright but if something not according to me happens then my mind just backfires and i cannot keep my thoughts straight and i get really in a bad mood. besides that things havent been upto my expectations in my general environment-which i believe is one of the reasons that sometimes gets me into an unpleasant state of mind. i sometimes feel like that i really make my husband feel miserable and i really do wish that i am better off dead so that everyone else can be happy.i feel like that this is the end of me and nobody can understand me at all. even though i try to communicate with my spouse but i think he feels that i am being paranoid and am purposely doing it. i donot know how to make things right. sometimes i just want to shut myself up or run away from everything. i LOVE my baby! there is no doubt about that. but i havenot been having my cycles ever since the delivery. can you help me or advise me on how to get over my problem. thankyou!
80 posts
Jul 31, 2006
10:16 PM

It can be very hard to tell when your baby is six months old whether you are feeling depressed or irritable, or anxious or confused because:

1) You're not getting any full nights of sleep, which can cause depression, memory loss, confused thinking, inability to concentrate, etc.

2) You and your husband are having marital issues; like, for example, you are feeling resentful because he's not helping enough, or he's feeling resentful because you don't want to have sex enough, or he is jealous of the baby, or whatever your relationship issues were before the baby are just increased by the stress of the baby, or any number of other possibilities.

3) Your hormones are out of whack.

4) You have a tendency to get depressed anyway and pregnancy and infant raising has triggered it.

5) You have mixed feelings about your baby--love/hate, nurturance/resentment, caretaking/depleted, guilt/shame, sadness about the losses your baby caused in your life...lots of feelings new Moms have that can be disturbing to try to handle alone.

There are other possibilities, but all of these are common. If you have insurance, and can get evaluated by a psychiatrist, that might be a good place to start. Or you could go see a therapist and get evaluated, and perhaps the therapist would refer you to a psychiatrist for more evaluation. That way, you'd have someone to talk to who would help you figure out what is making you feel this way, and what to do about it.

Please, please remember, though, that one of the worst things a parent can do to a child is to kill herself. Children are haunted by that the rest of their lives. Many children whose parent killed herself kill themselves too. You are extremely important and irreplacable to your baby. You will feel better, just get a little help. Whether or not you are having postpartum depression, you are having some kind of depression, and it needs attention, so you can be the best parent you can be, and so you can enjoy watching your baby grow.

Let me know what you decide to do.



Last Edited by Cynthia on Jul 31, 2006 10:18 PM
Aug 01, 2006
6:15 AM
Thanks for the prompt reply. I really do appreciate it.
Well I dont think it is that bad as it sounds like but it happens only sometimes, like once a week or even once in two weeks or three weeks or so. Rest of the time I feel perfectly fine and alright even bright and positively oriented. What I think I need to do is to communicate to somebody how I am feeling and be understood.I am glad for your support :)
Thankyou again.
81 posts
Aug 01, 2006
11:52 AM

I'm so glad to hear that! It is always helpful to talk to someone who really understands. I would still encourage you to see a therapist if only a few times. It might help you avoid those down times, and it would establish a connection to a therapist, so you would already know and trust someone if you felt bad again and just wanted to go see someone for a session or two.

Aug 10, 2006
5:42 AM
hi again..
hope you are alright. i just wanted to ask how to get my hormones checked..
87 posts
Aug 13, 2006
12:07 AM

Checking hormones is out of my area of expertise, but I would go to my ob/gyn to discuss it, or some psychiatrists know about hormones and mood. I don't think medicine has tests for hormones that are very useful in terms of the psychological effect they have on us, but I could be wrong. Your hormones will naturally change and adjust, too.

When I nursed my kids, every time they latched on, which is supposed to be when oxytocin is released, I got a wave of depression that crashed over me and completely passed within seconds. Oxytocin is supposed to make you feel close to other people, help you feel bonded with the baby and want to cuddle and nurse. I had all the bonding cuddley feelings, but also this very brief intense wave that didn't come back until the next beginning of a nursing session. Nobody could ever explain it. I think there's lots we don't know about hormones.

Last Edited by Cynthia on Aug 13, 2006 12:08 AM

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 Cynthia W. Lubow, MFT

 For 30 years, compassionately helping people build self-confidence and feel happier.

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