23 Nov 2007
Well Thanksgiving was pretty fun. No one cared what I was wearing, and the food was good, and I met this woman there I liked. Her name was Rosemary, which she named herself because she likes the spice, and doesn't like her parents, who named her something she didn't even want to say. So we went to her house after the evening at the old dykes house--actually, I should probably stop calling them that, since Rosemary is probably closer to their age than to mine. Anyway, she put on some Holly Near music, and lit some candles, and we talked some more until she started staring at my lips, and that was pretty hot. I didn't want to kiss her right away, though, because I wanted the tension to build until I was so turned on I had to kiss her. So I let her talk, and she let me talk while I was thinking about what it would be like to kiss her. Finally I got to that point, and I grabbed her and kissed her, and we started making out passionately on the couch. When I was naked waist up, I realized I hardly knew her, and I could stop if I wanted to, and it would probalby be better if I did--so I did! That was new. I never thought I was allowed to stop in the middle. I kept hearing my therapist's voice in my head saying "be a good parent to yourself--be the parent you wish you'd had." So I took myself home. Once I got out the door, I was glad I did it. If we are going to date, we have plenty of time to make love later, and if we aren't going to date, then I'll be glad I didn't get that exposed with her. Jeez, I sound like my freakin grandmother or something!! Anyway, I don't even know if I want to date her or not--or if she wants to. I wonder if the old dykes will ask me to do anything else.