Well, my therapist finally convinced me to go to Al-Anon/Nar-Anon meetings, and I've been going like once or twice a day, because I don't know what else to do about Rochelle.  Also it gives me a reason not to be home where the barracuda is scrubbing my grout or something.  I've also been volunteering at the treatment program R's supposed to be at.  Today they're having a barbeque for Memorial Day and I helped get the food ready.  Sometimes while I'm helping, I get to talk to the addicts, and they tell me their stories.  Man, they have got some stories!!  I have to admit, I never get tired of hearing them.  I wonder if that makes me some kind of perv, like a voyeur or something.  It's really cool when they are all like crazy dark and after they talk to me they smile and seem sorta lighter.  I don't exactly know what I'm doing there, especially since R isn't even there. I just feel so "helpless" as my therapist says, and guilty about how I fucked things up, and I don't know what else to do besides try to help some other addicts, since I can't help R.  I gotta go throw some hamburgers on my hibachi for the barracuda and me since it's Memorial Day and all. They invited us to the treatment program's barbeque, but I didn't want to take the barracuda; she'd just totally embarrass me.  I am not looking forward to spending the evening listening to her talk about all the people she scammed into buying a house from her.