22 Feb 2010
Wow, that seems so dramatic, but it's true--I had my last session with my therapist. We've been kind of saying goodbye for the past month or so. I'm amazed at how much there was to talk about. I've pretty much always just said "see ya" when I ended things before, so at first I couldn't imagine what we'd do in four or five more sessions after we agreed I was ending. I'm glad I did it that way, though, because after each session, I thought of something else I wanted to talk about. I probably will keep thinking "I have to talk to my therapist about that" for awhile. It is really sad--I cried in the last session and have cried some since too. But it's not an ugly sadness--I don't know how to say it--it's not mixed up with heavy anxiety and misery and hopelessness and self-hate. It's kind of pure or something--I just think about things she said or how she looked at me so sympathetically or something and cry and then I feel good, and go about my life! I really never knew it could be this good. I am so grateful for everything I've been blessed with. I hope I can help other people feel this way too.
I guess I'm saying goodbye to my blog too, since it's all about my therapy, and therapy is over. Idk, I might feel like checking in with it now and then, just as I might go back and check in with my therapist at some point, if I need her support, or help to figure something out, or someone to listen to me the way she does. Did. The cool thing is that most of the time I can imagine what she'd say, since I had so much experience with her. It's like I get to keep her in my head, for free. Therapy is awesome!