Ricky and I are spending weeks here taking care of his Mom.  Ricky quit his job and his parents are paying him instead of hiring a stranger to take care of her.  He seems to like to take care of her--he really is a caretaker, which is sweet.  I can't help thinking he would be a great Dad, and he would take care of me when I need it too.  It's kind of a safe feeling.  I'm still working for Plearn--doing my research online--finding and ordering what the trannies want.  My therapist offered to do sessions on the phone while I'm gone.  At first I thought I would hate that--not being in the room with her, but it's definitely better than not seeing her.  Just hearing her voice helps me feel more grounded, and less alone.  Ricky is here with me, of course, so I'm not alone, but sometimes I feel alone anyway.  I'm in a strange place with a family who all know each other so well, and I'm just an outsider.  By the end of Ricky's day, he's emotionally exhausted and doesn't have much less to give me.  I help him sometimes, when I don't have to work, but it's tiring being "on" with his Mom.  I so want her to like me.  I don't know how to be with a nice Mom, since I never had that.  I wonder if Ricky is TOO close to his Mom--if there's something unnatural about it?  What if he can't really be with me because he's really in love with his Mom!?  That's gross--I don't know why I'm even thinking that.  I am such a case.