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I'm Always Behind No Matter How Hard I Work! > Take Step One

What to Do When You Can't Meet Your Own Standards


Write down a list of all the things you would be doing if you were doing everything you expect of yourself. This includes promises you make to yourself over and over, things you've done at times and want to get back to, things you're working on, things you feel overwhelmed by, things that any reasonable person would agree should be done, and things you're doing. Here's an example of a typical partial list someone might make:

1) Be creative in responding to kids' unacceptable behavior rather than yelling at them.

2) Get to bed by 10:00

3) Lose 20 lbs, Stop eating sugar, cut down on coffee/alcohol/cigarettes, spend less time on the internet/watching tv...

4) Clean out the garage, attic, pantry, basket of mail, filing cabinets, car, desk, bedside table...

5) Eat out less and cook more. Eat more vegetables. Go through my stacks of cookbooks and recipes and use them to cook more vegetables. Eat food before it rots.

6) Get exercise at least 3X/wk.

7) Get up in time not to have to rush to work.

8) Return items I decided I didn't want.

9) Read the stacks of magazines I subscribe to.

10) Visit my parents more often.

11) Be more involved at my kids' school.

12) Meet deadlines at work.

13) Keep up with professional journals.

14) Fix the sprinkler system.

15) Figure out how to save for retirement and set it up.

16) Get the oil changed every 3000 miles.

17) Be informed on current events.

18) Get more organized.

19) Plan vacations early so prices are lower.

20) Pay attention to sales so I don't pay full price for things I need.

21) Read stack of self-help books.

22) Feng Shui my house.

23) Take the cat to the vet for her check up.

24) Have the gas/electricity company come out and tell me how to cut down on my enormous energy bill.

25) Paint the peeling house.

26) Spend more quality time with my Significant Other, and with my children--each separately.

27) Participate in political advocacy.

28) Use coupons.

29) Have friends over for dinner--especially those who've had me over several times.

30) Get an earthquake kit together.

31) Clean the mold out of my grout.

32) Put my photos into an album, print the photos I want from my full disk.

33) Return e-mails, write thank you notes, prepare Christmas letter, send birthday cards....

34) Take videos back before I have to pay a late fee.

So now make your own list!  Keep it around and add to it when you think of more.

  Now Do Step Two



Cynthia W. Lubow, MFT



Email: CynthiaLubow@yahoo.com 

 Cynthia W. Lubow, MFT

 For 30 years, compassionately helping people build self-confidence and feel happier.

 San Francisco East Bay Area Therapist

I can work with anyone who lives in California through Skype

Including San Francisco, Berkeley, Oakland, Los Angeles, San Luis Obispo, Monterey, Santa Rosa, Sacramento, San Diego, Ukiah, Marin...