Ending the Blues: A Psychotherapist’s Secrets to Living Depression-Free
Cynthia W. Lubow, MFT
WomensPsychotherapy.com
Introduction...................................................................................................................... 5
How Blue Are You? Answer These Questions and Find Out... ................................. 5
What Causes Depression?........................................................................................... 8
Interaction Between Causes of Depression............................................................... 10
What’s the Difference Between Sadness and Depression?....................................... 11
When Are These Tools Helpful? .............................................................................. 13
Use Your Human Medicine Cabinet to Stay High As Much As Possible .................. 16
1. Stimulate Your Pleasure Chemicals...................................................................... 16
2. Have Enough Fun ................................................................................................. 16
3. Laugh as Much as Possible ................................................................................... 17
4. Listen to Music You Like as Much as Possible.................................................... 19
5. Have Sex with Someone You Love (if Only Yourself) Often.............................. 19
6. Engage in Safe Risks ............................................................................................ 20
7. Meditate ................................................................................................................ 20
8. Do What You Love............................................................................................... 21
9. Learn Something................................................................................................... 22
10. Day Dream—What Do You Want in 5 yrs? ..................................................... 22
11. Do Something You Loved to Do as a Child ..................................................... 23
12. Do Something Creative..................................................................................... 24
13. Use Your Nose.................................................................................................. 24
14. Spend Time in Nature ....................................................................................... 26
15. Spend Time in (or at least near) Water ............................................................. 27
16. Have a Pet, or Visit and Relate to an Animal ................................................... 27
17. Plan a Vacation or Retreat ................................................................................ 28
18. Dress in the Costume of Someone You’d Like to Be....................................... 28
19. Sing ...................................................................................................................29
20. Smile .................................................................................................................29
21. The Hot Water, Cold Water, Hot Water High .................................................. 30
22. Take a Day and Do Whatever You Want—Pretend You Are on Vacation...... 31
Are You Your Own Worst Enemy? .............................................................................. 32
23. Self-Attack ........................................................................................................32
24. Change Relationship with Failure..................................................................... 34
25. Break Addiction to Failure................................................................................ 35
26. Replace the “Tyranny of the Shoulds” with “Wants”....................................... 36
27. Count Up from 0, Not Down from 0................................................................. 37
28. Know the Difference between Excellence and Perfection................................ 38
29. Set Realistic Goals and Meet Them.................................................................. 40
30. Do Service for Others ....................................................................................... 41
31. Turn Rejection into Motivation ........................................................................ 41
32. Be Selective About What You Make an Issue.................................................. 42
33. True Discipline Is Not What You Think It Is ................................................... 43
Solving the Mystery of the Missing Feelings ................................................................ 45
34. Express Feelings ...............................................................................................45
35. Grieve Losses....................................................................................................50
36. Write a letter to the person or thing you lost .................................................... 51
37. The Suicide Note...............................................................................................52
38. Resolve Trauma ................................................................................................53
39. Keep a Journal................................................................................................... 56
40. See a Psychotherapist........................................................................................ 57
Do Your Relationships Feed You? ................................................................................ 58
41. Say “No” ...........................................................................................................58
42. Ask for What You Want ................................................................................... 58
43. Express Love, if Only to Your Pet.................................................................... 59
44. Walk Away from Boundary Intrusions............................................................. 59
45. Do Something Daily That Reminds You That You Are a Good Person .......... 61
46. Don’t Say Anything Mean, Blaming or Insulting to Yourself or Anyone Else 61
47. Choose Your Battles Carefully ......................................................................... 62
48. Tell the People Around You What You Appreciate About Them.................... 63
49. Connect with Others Who Live with Depression and Learn What Helps ........ 63
50. Give Money to Someone Who Needs it More Than You................................. 64
Are Your Thoughts Leading to Depression or Relief?................................................ 65
51. Change Your Thought Processes—Recognize Distortions .............................. 65
52. Set Up Court for Thoughts................................................................................ 68
53. Ask Friends to Write What They Like About You and Post it......................... 69
54. Imagine You Can Choose to Have a Body or Not............................................ 69
55. Make a List of Kind Things You Have Done in Your Life—Add to the List.. 70
56. Decide on a Purpose for Your Life and Pursue it ............................................. 70
57. Distraction.........................................................................................................72
58. Lie on the Ground and Look at the Sky............................................................ 73
59. Develop Images of Protective, Nurturing, and Wise Characters ...................... 73
60. Look at What Advantages There Are to Being Depressed ............................... 75
61. Watch Harold and Maude ................................................................................. 76
62. Look Out for Building a Case Against Your Life............................................. 76
63. Use Your Mind ................................................................................................. 77
64. The Answer to “Life, the Universe and Everything”........................................ 77
65. Let Yourself See Half-Full Cups Are Exactly the Same as Half-Empty.......... 78
66. Idealize..............................................................................................................79
Does Your Body Need Attention?.................................................................................. 80
67. Enjoy Exercise ..................................................................................................80
68. Daily Tools to Reduce Stress and Anxiety ....................................................... 82
69. What You Eat.................................................................................................... 83
70. Sleep Enough ....................................................................................................83
71. Drink Lots of Water .......................................................................................... 83
72. Get Touched......................................................................................................84
73. Move Your Body as Much as Possible............................................................. 84
74. Replace Alcohol, Drugs, Caffeine, Nicotine with Something More Satisfying85
75. Make and Follow a Schedule............................................................................ 86
76. Keep Moving Forward...................................................................................... 87
77. Develop Ritual ..................................................................................................87
78. Have a Depression Day..................................................................................... 88
79. See a Holistic Doctor ........................................................................................ 89
80. Keep a Depression Journal................................................................................ 89
Do You Long for Feeling a Connection to Others, or Something That Could Ease Your Pain?....................................................................................................................... 91
81. Cultivate Generic Spiritual Principles .............................................................. 91
Appendix......................................................................................................................... 97
Appendix I ................................................................................................................ 98
12 Ingredients for Developing Lasting Happiness.................................................... 98
Appendix II ............................................................................................................... 99
The Original Six Tools.............................................................................................. 99
