Dear Cynthia... > Don't know what to do anymore...I need help! OCD!
Don't know what to do anymore...I need help! OCD!
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Kennedy895
1 post
Mar 21, 2010
9:49 PM
I've had depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember. I never knew what it was until I was older. It's gotten to the point where I want it all to go away...so I can move on and finally be happy! I have SEVERE OCD. It's REALLY bad. Severe is an understatement. I don't know what to do about it. I have so many dentist bills and my family has enough of their own medical bills to deal with. I can't afford a good therapist or doctor. I have horrible luck with them too. I had 1 and she wasn't too good. I also have bad luck with docs in general. I'm scared to find a good mental one. I need help. I need help with my depression, anxiety, and ESPECIALLY OCD!!! What can I do?
Kennedy895
2 posts
Mar 21, 2010
10:08 PM
I'm only 22. I've been trying to find help since forever. Nobody seems to listen to me. I've gone through so much. I need help and nobody wants to help...in fact...people make things worse when I mention I have a problem and need help! I also fear the dentist so much so...that it's been 6 years since I've gone. The last 6 years have been aweful. I finally went and need almost 8,000.00 of work done...AGAIN!!! I'm so sick and tired of everything and almost everyone. I finally found some people that I know love me and I love them back and I want the past to be forgotten forever. I want to move on so badly, but it's so hard. I finally made more changes, but it's like I feel like it's not good enough. There is such much I could say and let out, but I'm getting over a weird cold thing and need sleep. I'm exhausted from that too. I'll check back tomorrow.
Cynthia
281 posts
Mar 23, 2010
1:47 AM
It would help to have some more specifics, when you feel up to it. For example: What behaviors or thoughts do you have that are caused by your OCD? Who are the people you love and love you--not their names, but who are they to you--how available are they to help you meet your needs? Do you have any ideas about why you are so depressed and anxious? Have you ever been happy? What makes you not trust doctors--especially mental health ones?

Warm Regards,
Cynthia

Last Edited by on Mar 23, 2010 1:49 AM
Kennedy895
3 posts
Mar 23, 2010
2:17 PM
I'm constantly thinking about things. Like..if I do anything...my mind is saying...if u do this a certain way...this will happen. A lot of times it's negative! It scares me. I've been doing it for as long as I can remember. I finally do have people around me who care. It took about 20 years to happen, but I do have people who show they care and mean it. They are probably the reason why I want to get better at all. Before them, I didn't care about life at all. I've never really been happy. My whole life has always been full of anxiety. I've had bad experiences with doctors and I am tired of them. I've had a phsychiatrist in the 8th grade because I was bullied and doing horrible in school. She sorta helped, but not really. Thanks for responding.
Cynthia
282 posts
Mar 24, 2010
9:55 AM
There are many ways to reduce anxiety. Most people who feel as overwhelmed by it as you do seek psychotherapy. I would still consider looking for a therapist you really felt good about, if I were you, though I also understand you've had bad experiences that make you very wary of doctors of any kind.

If you want to work with the anxiety on your own, though, there are things you can do on your own. The treatment for OCD is medication and cognitive-behavioral therapy. I'm not totally sure you have OCD, but you can do cognitive-behavioral therapy on your own. The book listed on my books I recommend page called Mind Over Mood is very good for that. Also, the Anxiety and Phobia Workbook is full of ways to reduce anxiety--you just have to learn the ones that work for you and practice them. You might also look up how to do the Emotional Freedom Technique, which you can do yourself, and is very good at relaxing people.

I hope this is what you were looking for--if not, let me know.

Warmly,
Cynthia

Last Edited by on Mar 24, 2010 9:58 AM
Kennedy895
4 posts
Mar 24, 2010
11:55 AM
Ummmm, If I don't have OCD...then I'm 100% crazy. I prefer to call it OCD because I KNOW the definition of OCD and have EVERY symptom to a severe level. I've seen this on True Life and I'm just like those people. I've gotten worse though. It's constant and gets me to the point where I'm nausious and can't eat. I weigh 100 pounds becuase of it. I should be about 115ish. I lost about 10 pounds too. I've gone to about 8 different dentists until I finally found a good one. Then my pediatritian doctor was the last one before this new one. He dismissed me. I wanted to tell him all about my anxiety and I even gave in and told him I was cutting(i stopped that crap). At the time I was doing it though. then I went to another doctor and he's just as bad. He was half way out the door when I tried telling him. It's like nobody even cares that I exist. It's not fair. It's been like this since I was little. If I was noticed, it was a bad thing and I was always in the way. Things have gotten better in that way, but still...when I ask for help FROM EVERYONE...I get dismissed or told it's all in my head. So I suffer alone and miserable. I constantly have ocd. I can't even put a cap on a water bottle when I drink one. AND SO MUCH MORE. I can't afford a therapist. I have an 8,000.00 dentist bill. That's more important right now. Well, sort of. I can write a book about all of the bad that happened and how bad I have been suffering with anxiety and OCD AND Depression. Those 3 are NOT a good mix. Anyway, I have to go try and eat. Thanks for replying. =)
pengwin1
9 posts
Mar 24, 2010
9:25 PM
Well, I for one care very much that you exist. You have taken the first step towards getting help...reaching out. That alone takes all the courage we can muster, especially when we've had bad experiences with getting help in the past. I just want you to know you're not alone in your OCD, anxiety and depression, and I'm glad you're seeking answers here. Feel free to talk to me if you want. OK? I've been there.
Cynthia
283 posts
Mar 24, 2010
11:18 PM
Thanks so much for your support, Pengwin1; it sounds like Kennedy895 is long past due for someone caring, listening, and supporting her through too much emotional pain for one person to have to handle! Thanks for being there.

K, I'm sorry I didn't get from what you said that you were struggling with repetitive thoughts you didn't want and compulsions to do things you don't want to have to do, just for a bit of feeling safer. If you totally identify with other people with OCD, then that may well be what you have. Do you think you may also have an eating disorder?

I am very concerned about how much you're suffering without help. Would you consider low-fee therapy? While doctors are usually compelled to finish infrequent visits within 10-15 minutes, therapists give you longer and more often to tell your story and help you sort out what is causing the emotional pain and what would help it. I think this is all too much to deal with without help, and I know "help" has not been helpful to you in the past. I wish it weren't this hard for you, but you may have to keep trying to get help from professionals until you find one who will help you. That may mean meeting and rejecting several more before you find the right one. As hard as that sounds, I can't think of another way to get the relief you need. If you want, we can be here for you through the process. Tell us your experience with each therapist and we can give an opinion about whether this is the right one for you or not.

But what do you think would help you?

Warmly,
Cynthia


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 Cynthia W. Lubow, MFT

 For 30 years, compassionately helping people build self-confidence and feel happier.

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