Anna's Blog>
Irritated


21 Jan 2008

I don't know--Ricky's been kind of irriatating me lately.  I mean we spend like all our time together, and sleep together every night, and he's been hanging out at my place alot, so I hardly ever get to be alone.  I just get annoyed by some of the things he does--like how he chews--it's really noisy, and gross.  And he always eats breakfast in his boxers--that just doesn't seem sophisticated and respectful to me.  But these all seem like such stupid little things.  I feel like such an asshole being irritated by them.  How am I ever going to be in a longterm relationship if people's day-to-day way of being is disgusting to me?  Maybe I can explore this in therapy and figure it out, so it doesn't ruin my chances to be in a relationship.  I just don't know what to do.  I don't want to feel this way--I hate it--but I can't stop it either.  The best I can do is try to hide it, but I'm not very good at that either--it just shows--I know he must feel it, but it seems like talking about it would just make it worse. What am I going to say--"I really like you but you irritate the crap out of me sometimes?"  Maybe I can just look away when it's happening.  For some reason, I seem to just obsess about it--focus on the thing that bugs me--what a nutcase I am!!

(510) 525-2341    cynthialubow@yahoo.com

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