I don't know--Ricky's been kind of irriatating me lately. I mean we spend like all our time together, and sleep together every night, and he's been hanging out at my place alot, so I hardly ever get to be alone. I just get annoyed by some of the things he does--like how he chews--it's really noisy, and gross. And he always eats breakfast in his boxers--that just doesn't seem sophisticated and respectful to me. But these all seem like such stupid little things. I feel like such an asshole being irritated by them. How am I ever going to be in a longterm relationship if people's day-to-day way of being is disgusting to me? Maybe I can explore this in therapy and figure it out, so it doesn't ruin my chances to be in a relationship. I just don't know what to do. I don't want to feel this way--I hate it--but I can't stop it either. The best I can do is try to hide it, but I'm not very good at that either--it just shows--I know he must feel it, but it seems like talking about it would just make it worse. What am I going to say--"I really like you but you irritate the crap out of me sometimes?" Maybe I can just look away when it's happening. For some reason, I seem to just obsess about it--focus on the thing that bugs me--what a nutcase I am!!
Cynthia W. Lubow, MFT
Depression and PTSD Specialist
For 25 years, compassionately helping women heal from depression, and it's
destructive criticism, losses and traumas, while building self-acceptance and confidence.