Anna's Blog > Alone and Pathetic


3 Nov 2007

I'm so freaking pathetic!  I just go to class and to work and to my rehab work like a zombie--just doing what I'm supposed to do, and feeling nothing.  The only time I feel better is in therapy. I started wishing I could run into my therapist again at Whole Foods, so I've kinda been hanging out there, hoping to see her. It's just not enough to feel better for 50 minutes a week! Janet and I don't talk anymore. I don't call anyone, and no one calls me. I don't even want anyone to call me--I just sort of want to hate everyone. Really, people hella suck! Even Penny kinda ignores me except when she wants to eat. She just sleeps most of the time. Sometimes she comes and gets into my arms in bed when I'm going to sleep and purrs, and I cry. I wish my therapist could just move in with me for awhile and just always be with me. I wish she would hold me. I guess my therapist is right, this is kinda how I felt as a kid--craving company and physical affection--aching for it and never getting it. How am I going to survive this??

 

 

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 Cynthia W. Lubow, MFT

 For 30 years, compassionately helping people build self-confidence and feel happier.

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