Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit!!! I cannot believe I had to stand there and watch my ex and that bitch deep-throat kissing when she came to pick her up after work! And the worst part is that she used to kiss me like that! I could almost feel her lips and tongue on mine while I was watching them. I'm gonna tell my therapist about this. I can't believe I'm not going to see my therapist for a whole week. I might die of this by then. Maybe I should call her. No, I don't know if I'm allowed to call her. I don't want to be a baby anyway--I'm ok. I can handle it. Why the hell do they have to do it right there in front of me???? I would never do that to anyone. I'm a much nicer person than they are. Somebody else will love me. I just gotta find a new girlfriend. Hey, maybe someone I already know wants to be my girlfriend, but has been waiting for the right time to tell me. Not. Well, maybe I could convince someone I know to be my girlfriend. or maybe just have sex. Maybe I should just flirt with everyone, and see who takes the bait! I'm going to fucking flirt with every single fucking person I fucking see all fucking day! Someone's gotta be willing to fuck me! I'm gonna start tomorrow. I'm starting on the bus.
My Mom called today. I couldn't believe her. She asked me if I'd deposited the check she sent me yet, and when I told her I hadn't gotten to it, she started lecturing me about how I've lost interest income by waiting and how I should be more responsible about how I handle my "finances" and all. She even said she thought I was smarter than that! Like I'm so freakin stupid because I didn't freakin deposit her freakin check for a few days--or weeks, whatever. I gotta figure out a way to make more money so she's not sending me checks and callin me stupid all the time! I know I have a college degree and all, and I'm not really using it, but I really, really like working with a bunch of dykes at the store. I mean, I would hate workign in some straight office that expected me to wear dresses and freakin pantihose. I mean I wouldn't last one week with that shit. I hate taking money from the barracuda--what is that exactly? I know it's some kind of fish-thing, and like loud and threatening and obnoxious and overbearing, but I don't know exactly what it is. Anyway, it sounds like my mother.