Ricky and I totally aren't having sex anymore.  I don't know--he seems like a brother or something.  I love him, but I don't really even want to kiss him.  He's feeling pretty hurt about it.  I told him he should find a girlfriend who loves to kiss him, but I didn't really mean it.  I mean I think I'm really bad for him, but I can't stand the thought of being alone again.  I checked out some dating sites, just to see if there was hope I could ever be with someone again, if Ricky and I break up.  I saw alot of cute girls who sounded like pretty good matches.  I'm really not looking for a date; I just need to know I could find one if I needed to.  Truth is, though, that I would compare anyone I dated to my therapist, and there aren't many people, if any, who are as cool as she is.  I hope Ricky and I can stay friends.  I actually don't mind the thought of him seeing someone else, as long as we stayed friends--I think it would be a relief, actually.